Klonoa's random adventures
by Oni'swhorun
Summary: A story about pedos, loli vampires, unnecessary bonding, raep, and complete obliteration of your childhood. Watch as Klonoa, Guntz, and many other characters live they're lives in Gensokyo, a place where everyones gay. How will Klonoa get through! Rated M just to be safe.
1. Keep the innocence!

It WAS a normal day in Gensokyo. Bass was writing yaoi about X and Zero while Sakuya fantasized about her mistress. There seemed to only be one innocent person there. Or should I say, innocent cabbit...

"Hello Guntz!" The cute furry cabbit greeted his friend Guntz outside of the Scarlet devil mansion.

"Oh... Hey Klonoa. What's up?" Guntz looked down to Klonoa.

"Wellllllll... The sky is up!" Klonoa said in a innocent voice.

Nearby, Sonic the hedgehog was running at the speed of sound (or however fast he freaken runs). He saw Klonoa and Guntz talking near him.

"I'm bored. They probably won't mind if I eavesdrop on them." Sonic shrugged and walked closer.

"So Guntz. Bass was talking to me the other day about this thing called xxx. What's xxx?"

Guntz nearly died. To hear the little cabbit say that was surprising, but it was normal.

"Well Klonoa... erm..." Guntz was thinking of a way to explain until suddenly Sonic jumped out of the bushes.

"DID YOU JUST SAY XXX?!" Sonic screeched at Klonoa like a banshee.

"...Yes." Klonoa answered.

Sonic grunted. "Young man! I need to teach you a lesson about saying words like that!"

Sonic dragged Klonoa into a random bathroom and washed Klonoa's mouth with soap and water.

"GUUUNNNNTTTZZZZ!" Klonoa cried as he ran back to his wolf friend. "My mouth was violated!"

Guntz face palmed. "Klonoa... My little cabbit... Please, don't say that word anymore. It's for your own good..."

"Okay!" Klonoa promised and walked off.

/

Klonoa happliy skipped through the grass thinking about eating ice cream. Suddenly he ran into Bass.

"HEY! WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING ASSHOLE!" Bass was about to unleash a whole butt whipping of rapid fire shots on Klonoa until he saw who he was. "Oh... Its just you..."

"Hello Bass! Nice to see you too!" Klonoa cheerfully greeted him.

"Hey Klonoa. Did you ask Guntz about that xxx?" Bass giggled evily.

"Yes. But then Sonic washed my mouth with soap and water and Guntz told me to never say that word again!"

"Aw come on kid! Say it one more time. For good 'ol Bass!"

"But! But! But I promised!"

"SAY IT!"

At that moment Sonic jumped out of the bushes and kicked Bass in the head. That one hit knocked him out.

"KLONOA! I TOLD YOU NEVER TO USE THAT WORD AGAIN!"

"But I didn't say xxx!"

"YOU JUST F**KING DID! AND NOW THAT I HAVE UNLIMITED SOAP, YOU WILL REGRET EVERYTHING YOU LIVED FO-"

Sonic was then shot a million times in the face by Guntz.

Guntz and Klonoa then started running as fast as they could, but Sonic was right behind them.

"Hey guyssssss!"

A lower-pitched womens voice rang in Guntz's ears. They looked up and saw a girl with enormous pants.

"Howdy!" She said as she picked the cabbit and wolf up and flew out of the scene.

"Hey! Who the hell are you?!" Guntz demanded. "No one is allowed to touch my body like that!"

"I'm Gensokyo's phoenix, Fujiwara no Mokou! I'm here to save your life because I have no life!" The phoenix said cheerfully.

"Ohhhh! Hello Mokou!" Klonoa smiled.

"I hate you already..." Guntz snorted.

"I have a feeling we will be great friends!" Mokou exclaimed as she hugged the two.

 _"I'll barf in my mouth..."_ Guntz thought.

/

"So where can we go? It has to be a place where Sonic doesn't know..." Klonoa thought.

"How about Breezegale? That's where you live right?" Guntz suggusted.

"Breezegale? What the heck is a Breezegale?" Mokou wondered.

"But either way it would take days to walk there... We need a chaos emerald!" Guntz said.

"But Guntz you can't use a chaos emerald!" Klonoa remined him.

"This is fiction! Anything can happen! Anything..." Guntz put on a cheerful smile.

"...I think I'm suddenly gay..." Mokou said.

/

When they got into Klonoa's house Mokou immediately flopped on the floor and fell asleep.

Guntz just sighed. "At least its just you, me, and the creepy pedo phoenix girl..."

And of couse he spoke to soon. A young women bursted into the house.

"NO!" Guntz yelled.

"Scary lady..." Klonoa frowned.

"MOKO-TAN! WHERE ARE YOU?!" The girl called. She frowned when she saw Mokou sleeping on the coutch. "MOKO-TAN! THERE IS A WEIRD DUDE WHO SAYS HIM NAME IS SHADOW WHO IS HARRASING LITTLE BOYS!"

Mokou forced one eye open and saw her friend, she grunted and fell back asleep.

"Mokou... Please wake up..." Klonoa shook her awake.

Mokou sat up. "Look, Keine. Deal with it yourself kk?"

"But... The Teletubbies are attacking the village too..." Keine said.

"WHAT THE F**KEN HELL?!" Mokou screeched.

"Jk." Keine smiled. "I just want you in my bed..."

"...Ohhhh.." Mokou stood up from the coutch and licked her lips. "Come over here you naughty thing..."

"Guntz? What are they doing?" Klonoa shivered.

"That my dear friend, is yuri."

"Guntz, what's a yuri?" Klonoa asked.

"Something that your too young to know about." Guntz said. "Let's go upstairs..."

/

"I never knew you had two beds..."

"Well when Huepow was staying here a couple months ago. He took up a lot more space then usual so I bought another bed." Klonoa answered.

"Well ok then..." Guntz said as he flopped down on the other bed.

"Goodnight."

"Night." Klonoa responded as he flipped the light switch off.

...

"Hey Guntz?"

"Yeah?"

"What's a penis?"

Guntz stood stright up from his bed and turned on the light. "Uhhhh... Well... erm... It's another word for a pellow?" Guntz lied as he held up a pellow.

"Oh! Ok!" Klonoa said just before he plopped down on the bed.

/

It was morning time.

"Hee hee... Guntz is snuggling with is penis!" Klonoa giggled at the sight of Guntz hugging his pellow.

Guntz woke up a bit after. "Morrning alheady?" He said in a groggy way.

As they both walked downstairs they saw Keine and Mokou making out.

"AW COME ON! GET A FREAKEN ROOM PEOPLE!" Guntz exclaimed. "WHY DOES STUFF LIKE THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN IN MY HOUS-"

"B-But Guntz this is my house..." Klonoa interupped.

"AW SHUTTTT UPPP!"

"Guntz doesn't love me anymore!" Klonoa cried as he ran off.

"...SH*T!" Guntz cursed.

/

"I need to find Klonoa... Grrr..." Sonic grunted to himself as he walked closer to the SDM.

 **/**

 **This is the most messed up thing I've ever written...**

 **So me and my friend are doing another collab about things we've talked about, and this happened. Her name is MegamanRockmanfan101 if you want to check her fanfictions out. Half of the credit goes to her for the story ideas.**

 **Welp hope you enjoy this crud.**

 **(I DO NOT OWN KLONOA, MEGAMAN, SONIC, OR TOUHOU PROJECT NOR DO I MAKE MONEY WITH THEM. THIS FANFICTION IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.)**

 **Bye bye ;)**


	2. Loli vampire struggles

**What do we have so far?**

 **Klonoa=** A young cabbit who knows nothing about the world. He's extremely naive also. He uses his wind ring to pick up enemies to shoot the into others or to boost his jump. Main character of this story.

 **Guntz=** An older black and yellow wolf who uses guns as his attack method. His father was killed by Janga and he seeks great revenge. For now he lives his life in Gensokyo and is occasionally seen in Green hill zone. Secondary character of this story.

 **Bass=** A robot who was created by Dr. Wily to mimick and rival Megamans abilties. Unlike Megaman though, Bass has a rapid fire buster which he can easily shoot in all directions. He's not innocent at all. A main neutral in the story.

 **Mokou=** An immortal phoenix that seeks revenge on Kaguya for embarrassing her father by giving him the "impossible requests." Now a loner in the bamboo forest, she sometimes hangs out with Klonoa and the others and has a secret crush on both Keine and Zero. A recurring character in the story.

 **X=** A maverick hunter and is friends with Zero. All he wants was peace in the world but Sigma keeps ruining it, coming up with many new plots each time. In his free time, he takes long walks and enjoys painting. He is a recurring character in the story.

 **Zero=** A blond-haired maverick hunter who is X's best friend. Having to go through lots of crap in his life he never looks down. He is a goods friends to Klonoa, Mokou, and Guntz while holding a frienemy relationship with Bass. In his free time he often visits the human village in Gensokyo and writes memoirs. A recurring character in the story.

 **Keine=** A half human half were-hakutaku. She is a history teacher in the human village of Gensokyo and has a huge crush on Mokou. She seems to be on good terms with everyone except the maverick hunters; the reason is unknown as well. A side character in the story.

 **Let's pick up where we left off, shall we?**

 **/**

Guntz found his way back into Gensokyo, following the cabbit's footsteps, and came to a sudden halt when they stopped.

"That's weird..." Guntz pondered. "He couldn't of just flown away..."

A couple feet away he spotted weird marks in the ground. He then noticed that they were dragging marks, picking up from where Klonoa's footsteps stopped.

"Oh screw me..." Guntz muttered and ran as fast as he could to the one place he would never want to go...

The Scarlet devil mansion...

/

X was painting a picture of Zero.

"Zeerrroo! Please sit still! I can't see you that good..." X kept nagging Zero for squirming so much.

Zero wasn't exactly a hyper kind of dude but he still couldn't stay in one place for a long time. He definitely gets bored easily.

"...X your taking forever!"

"Shhhh! It'll be over before you know it..."

"You keep saying that! It's been two hours..."

"Sorry! It's hard to paint the boobs..." X accidently said.

"...These aren't real you know...?"

Suddenly Guntz crashed into the scene. Well, crashed in meaning X's painting.

"Noooo! All my hard work gone!" X cried. He then looked at Guntz and slanted his eyes.

"This better be important..." X growled in a lower voice.

"Yes! Yes! Very very important! Klonoa has been kidnapped! And evidence points to that mansion..." Guntz grunted.

"You need are help?" Zero wondered.

"Why else would I be asking you guys?!"

"You owe me a soda then... TWO sodas..." X hissed.

/

The trio arrived at the mansion. The gate keeper, a Chinese lady, was sleeping at the entrance.

"Welp lets go in!" X cheered.

The lady suddenly woke up. "Huh?" But saw nothing.

/

Guntz burst through the doors of the mansion just to find a scarlet eyed vampire sitting at her throne.

"Where's... Klonoa?!" Guntz demanded.

"Ufufufu..." The vampire laughed. "I have no idea what your talking about..."

"Your lying... I can see it all over you face!" Guntz exclaimed.

The young vampire took out a mirrior and looked at herself closely. "I don't see lying, wolf, get out!"

"We're not going until we see Klonoa!" Zero said taking out his Z-Saber.

The vampire laughed again. "My name is Remilia Scarlet. And I'm not afraid of you..."

"Well you should be you... you BUTTHEAD!" X attemped a comeback.

"X... Leave the talking to us..." Zero sighed and looked back at Remilia. "We won't ask you again... WHERE'S KLONOA?!"

"Shut up. I don't care about this Klonarwhateverhisnameis!" Remilia grunted.

The trio uncomfortably shifted to the right.

"What?"

"Another strong one..."

Suddenly a grey-haired girl who looked to be about in her late teens ran through the door.

"Sakuya... Take care of these fools... I have some important business to attend to..." Remilia ordered of the girl and walked into another room.

"HEY! GET THE HELL BACK HERE YOU BITCH!" Guntz called a made a run for it at the door.

"My name is Sakuya Izayoi." Sakuya grinned. "Prepare your anuses..."

/

Guntz was being chased by Remilia the vampire. He was surprisingly far ahead but the loli was catching up rather fast...

 _"Crap! I need a distraction! But what..."_ Guntz thought to himself. _"Think Guntz think!"_

Suddenly he came up with an idea. He dashed into the next room he saw.

The room was filled with barrels. Guntz ripped off a piece of wood painfully and held it up where Remilia was.

"HALT!"

"YOU CAN'T HALT ME!" Remilia whined.

"I can if I have this! Now, show me to where Klonoa is!" Guntz asked of her.

"For the last time I don't know where your stupid Klonoa is!" Remilia screamed at him. Guntz just shifted.

Then, a high pitched scream came from a couple rooms down and Remilia started to sweat.

"Ufufu... That's just a song I listen to every now and then. It's called _'the screams of my victims'_. I forgot to turn off the tape..." Remilia lied.

"...Are you a sadist?" Guntz asked.

"NO!" Remilia yelled at him.

Guntz heard the scream again and headed towards the room.

/

"HOW THE HELL DO YOU HAVE THAT MANY F**KEN KNIVES?!"

Zero and X were dodging knives for they're life. Sakuya wasn't exactly physcally or metally powerful, but damn, she threw knives like there was no tomorrow...

"SHUT UP AND LET ME KILL YOU!" Sakuya grinned as she kept throwing knives in all directions.

The two reploids thought it would never end until a familiar voice bursted through the walls.

"SAKUYA! I'M HERE TO TAKE YOUR HEART! EMOTIONALLY!" The girl broke open the walls and dashed in.

"I NEVER LOVED YOU MEILING! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP BITCH I'M TRYING TO KILL SOME ROBOTS!" Sakuya yelled.

"OH IT ON LIKE DONKEY KONG MOTHERF**KER!" Meiling shouted back.

Suddenly danmaku filled the room.

"Oooooo! Fireworks..." X smiled as he walked happily towards the "fireworks".

"X! Watch out!" Zero warned and pushed X out of the way.

"ZEEERRROOO!" X watched as his friend got pounded with loads of danmaku and fell over.

"Don't worry...X. I always...come back in the next... game..." Zero told X before he literally died.

X cried while Sakuya and Meiling took they're battle outside.

/

When Guntz ran into the room he saw Klonoa tied up to a pole with a ball-gag in his mouth to prevent him from screaming. Luckliy, he screams pretty loud when he's in danger.

Guntz ran up to the traumatized cabbit and took off the ball-gag.

"Guntz! Thank you!" Klonoa squealed with joy.

"Yeah don't mention it kid... Now let's get you out..."

"Not so fast..."

Guntz then turned around to see Remilia, wings a larger size and eyes full of rage. "THAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE FOR FLANDRE! YOU FREAKEN RUINED IT!"

"Welp here comes stage six..." Guntz sighed and got out his gun. "I have full amo! Get ready to be blasted away!"

"Go ahead... I'll be sure to save your remains for all the hungry Youkai out there. Your little friend will be my dessert..." Remilia threatened.

"Screw you. This is a fight to the death! I will love to see your wings plated on my walls!"

" **EVERYONE PLEASE JUST STOP!** "

A figure not much smaller then Remilia's slowly walked out of the shadows. She was holding a teddy bear.

"Please don't fight... Onee-sama... Please don't kill Mr. Wolfy and Mr. Cabbit..."

 _"Wolfy?!"_ Guntz took offence.

"Flandre... Go back to your room. Onee-sama has some important business to take care of..." Remilia told the girl.

"You always say that! Why don't you ever have time for me anymore?!" Flandre screamed in tears at her sister and ran back into the darkness.

"Flandre wai- Grrr... nevermind... She never listens. What a brat she is..." Remilia sighed. "You two are free to go. And it's best that your two should never come here again..."

"That was wrong... THAT WAS WRONG!" Guntz yelled. "All that girl wanted was love from her sister yet you keep turning her away! What's the big freaken deal with that?! Can't you at least tell her how you feel or show her that she's not alone?! She wants memories with her sister! because someday... One of you two will be gone... And someone would want to remember all the fun times they had with the fallen..." Guntz then shedded some tears.

"...His dad died." Klonoa said.

"Maybe I shouldn't of took that ball-gag off..." Guntz coldly snorted at the black and white cabbit.

"...What have I done..." Remilia curled up in her signature "charisma break" and cried a bit.

"Go to her..." Guntz told Remilia. "She needs you more then anyone else in the world now..."

Remilia stood up and nodded, wiping away a couple tears. She then walked down towards the basement.

/

The basement was a cold, dark, and wet place. It always over heated and during summer to Flandre's annoyance. Remilia though put something's in there and adjusted it a bit to look like a regular and comfy room.

Remilia slowly walked down the creaky steps. "Flandre?"

"Go away..."

Remilia heard her sisters voice and walked closer. "Flandre?"

"Leave me be..."

Remilia got closer and closer until the sisters were practically standing a few inches apart.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Uhhh... I came to check on you...?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because sisters always care."

"Pfft... Yeah right."

"Can I sit down?"

"Sure, whatever..."

Remilia took a seat on a chair. "So... How is it down here?"

"You only care about yourself, do you..." Flandre started completely ignoring her older sisters question.

"...No... No Flandre you got it all wrong!" Remilia quickly replied. "Please! I'm just so busy!"  
"Busy is all I hear these days! I want to hang out with you onee-sama!" Flandre hissed.

Flandre rose up from her seat and turned on the light. "You know what? I'm f**king done respecting you Remilia... You treat me like bloody sh*t! And for what? Because your 'BUSY'." Flandre barked harshly.

"No!"

"Yes! Can't I ever get yes out of you?!" Flandre screamed.

" **WE ARE OFFICALLY NOT SISTERS!** "

/

"Guntz... This rope is rubbing against my skin..." Klonoa groaned.

"Shut up will ya? I'm actually trying this time!" Guntz then got Klonoa free.

"Yay! Now we can get ice cream!"

"Wait did you hear that?" Guntz lowered his voice and waited.

...

"Nevermind... I thought I heard a big explosion like-"

Suddenly a huge explosion occured in the basement.

Flandre Scarlet quickly flew out of the scene. "FREE! FREE AS THE WIND!" She yelled.

Good thing it was nighttime... Or else she would be a grilled bat...

"HOLY F**KEN SH*T! WHO LET HER OUT?!" Guntz panicked and found Remilia laying on the basement ground looking as dead as a fish.

"I...I tried... But she wouldn't... Listen..." The bruised Remilia sobbed.

"We'll find her..." Guntz said.

/

X was spamming hadoukens onto Sakuya.

"Wow... You sure like using that..."

X looked behind him and saw Zero standing tall and prideful.

"ZERO!" X smiled.

"See? I told you I always come back in the next game~"

 **/**

 **That...Was...Intense.**

 **This is a lot different from when my and Ky played it out. The alternative ending is when Flandre and Remilia become on great terms with each other and get ice cream with the others. In this one though I wanted this incident to run on a for a little longer just to make things a bit more heated up... I'm so horrible...**

 **The funny thing is that the only thing I remember from the original was Zero saying "I always come back in the next game~". I added that again just for laughs and to lighten up the atmosphere a bit. I made it a bit to dark for a story like this BUT whatever it happens...**

 **Also for each chapter in the beginning I'll introduce some new character/s just for the trivia and to understand the story more.**

 **(I DO NOT OWN KLONOA, MEGAMAN, OR TOUHOU NOR DO I MAKE MONEY WITH THEM. THIS FANFICTION WAS MADE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.)**

 **Thank you~ ;)**


	3. Vile the kidnapper

Some new characters have joined the madness!

 **Remilia Scarlet=** A prideful vampire who is the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion (abbreviated to SDM). Even though from afar she seems to be an elegant lady she does act childish at times. She has the power to control fate and her little sister is Flandre. She is a side character of the story.

 **Flandre Scarlet=** The younger sister of Remilia. She has been in the basement for 495 years due to 'mental' problems. She seems to show more of a vampire like personality then Remilia does. She has the power to destroy **ANYTHING**. She is a side character of the story.

 **Sakuya Izayoi=** A knife throwing, time stopping girl who works for Remilia. As said, she is quite skilled at throwing knives. When staring at the moon, her eyes turn red (she goes insane as well). By default though shes quiet. A recurring character of the story.

 **Hong Meiling=** A Chinese girl who works for Remilia as a gate guard. While she doesn't seem intimidating, she is strong (physically). She quickly befriends Guntz and Klonoa but has a hatered towards the maverick hunters for unknown reasons. A side character in the story.

 **Vile=** Vile is a maverick, a very powerful one. Off and on he works for Sigma. He has a deep, deep hatered for the maverick hunters and everyone 'good'. He especially hates X for being weak and/or hesitant on the battlefield. He recently found his way into Gensokyo with other villians and plots it's downfall. Main villain in the story.

Welp lets continue!

/

What happened just then really surprised Guntz. A huge explosion that came from the SDM's basement followed by the adolsecent vampire flying away. This meant no good.

"W-What are we going to do Guntz?" Klonoa asked.

Guntz looked at the sky then back to the cabbit. "We are going to find Flandre, and bring her back! And then I can go to bed!" Guntz let out a long groan.

The two walked out of the mansion over to X and Zero who have just recently won over Sakuya.

"It was a hard battle, but we managed to step through it!" Zero stated while giving the two a thumbs up.

Sakuya slowly came to. "Damn you..." She muttered before her face fell back to the floor.

"Z-Zero! The mansions on fireeeee!" X sqeaked. Indeed he was right. The mansion was engulfed in flames.

"Did everyone make it out?" Zero worried as he looked around.

"Who cares?! Now we have another mission to go on." Guntz looked over to X, who just sighed.

"If we don't do this, we might all die..." Guntz started. "Flandre is loose."

"Flander? Flundear? Flandooooooor~" X tried to pronounce the vampires name.

"Hey why can't the incident solvers do this?" Zero wondered.

"They're probably busy fighting some other monster with all the other good guys who STRANGLY HAVEN'T APPEARED YET!" Guntz barked to them and no one.

The four then heard another explosion. "Welp. Let's get going!"  
/

"Muwahahaha..." A purple figure with a helmet over his head walked out of the flames.

"Now that I've found X and Zero's location, I can destroy them once and for all!" He laughed.

This was Vile, the maverick. Not that much else I need to say if you already have read the introduction.

He was definitely here to stop X and Zero, and he has just the plan when he saw a little girl with crystle-like wings flying.

"Little girl!" He called out weakly, to make sure he sounded hurt.

Flandre turned around to see the robot. She flew down to him and tilted her head to the side.

"Who are you? A human?" she asked.

Vile fakely coughed and said, "No, my dear I'm not. My plane has crashed here and I'm badly hurt... I need medical help... now..."

Flandre panicked. "W-What should I d-do?"

"Touch my helmet. It will tell you the answers..." He lied.

Flandre slowly reached out for the helmet. _"Don't do it Flandre don't do it!"_ A voice rung in her mind. She tried to ignore it.

Once she touched the helmet a force shot her back. Vile stood up, his heat seeker buster on his shoulder pointed to her.

"PERVERT! PEDO! IDIOT! BAKA! BAKA!" Flandre yelled at him.

Vile shook his head. "Poor... Poor naive little girl."

Flandre tried to use her powers, but they were disabled. Vile's helmet emitted a wave of energy that disabled Flandre from using her powers. That clever bastard.

He shot a little blast of energy towards her, capturing her in an energy field.

"Now that I have a newfound energy source, I can power my new maverick army, AND TAKE OVER GENSOKYO! MUWAHAHAHA!" Vile laughed.

"Idiot. Your a piece of poop. You belong in the toilet..." Flandre spat childish insults at the clever maverick.

"Shut up. Your my slave now, and slaves don't talk."

"I'm talking right now! And you can't do a thing about it you big doo-doo!"

"STOP CALLING ME A BIG DOO-DOO!"

"A big purple piece of sh*t!"

Vile then destroyed a tree with one shot of his heat seeker. Flandre growled at him and shut up.

/

"I guess we follow the footsteps?"

Klonoa and Guntz were going to find Flandre while X and Zero stayed back to stop the fire.

"Klonoa... Why would we follow her footsteps?"

"Cause she has feet."

".."

Guntz shook his head. He then heard another voice.

"So-nanoka~"

/

"HOW DO WE EVEN PUT OUT A FREAKEN FIRE?!" X panicked at the situation.

"Here. You go in there and see if anyones in there." Zero said as he pushed X into the flames.

"HE- Aw nevermind..."

X looked around and only saw, fire. He opened every door he saw and the room was either destroyed or in flames...or both. X didn't think one tiny explosion would lead to a huge fire.

X then made his way to the library.

He heard a faint cry for help. He ran to it and saw a small purple haired girl.

"Don't worry! Don't scream! I'm her-"

"It wasn't me who's screaming..." The girl said. Then she pointed to a fallen bookshelf. The cries of help were coming under it.

"I can't get her out due to my asthma..." The purple girl stated softly. Her hair catched on fire.

"Y-Y-Your hair!" X stuttered.

"...It's fine. Just get her out." she then walked away into the flames.

"..."

"HALP!"

X almost forgot while spacing out what he was suppose to do. He used all his strengh to lift up the bookshelf.

Indeed there was someone under it. A devil, in fact.

"Thank you!" The girl said before fainting.

/

Guntz and Klonoa were encoutered by a human-eating youkai. 'Human', so they're fine.

"I've been so hungry... Can I eat youuuuu?~" She said in a tipsy way.

...Nevermind...

"Hey! We are not edible! Are you insane?!" Guntz exclaimed.

"So-nanoka..."

"STAHP!"

The girl giggled. "I'm Rumia, the darkness youkai. Now, may I eat you?"

Klonoa and Guntz stared at her.

"Sure."

Guntz turned his head to the innocent cabbit. "KLONOA WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU SAYING?!"

"What's a f**k?" Klonoa asked.

Suddenly Rumia was hit with energy.

"...Ouch..." She muttered before falling over.

This energy came frrrroooommmm...

"Sup losers."

"Fancy meeting you tonight Bass." Guntz sighed a sigh of relief when he was there. First time he was actually GLAD to see him.

"Yeah yeah whatever. I heard Vile's in town!"

"VILE?!"

/

X hurried out of the mansion just to find Zero about to leave.

"Zerro! Help me!"

Zero turned around to see X. "VILE IS NEARBY."

X shivered. "R-Really? Wasn't our purpose to come here was to get away from him?"

Zero shrugged. "Either way, we can fight him off, right?"

"I don't wanna fight..." X cried.

The girl woke up. "Oh! Hi!" She jumped to her feet quickly.

"...Who is this?"

"The girl I saved."

"She doesn't look like Remilia..."

"..."

"..."

Just as the two reploids noticed their mistake, the mansion collasped.

/

Guntz, Klonoa, and Bass were rushing to where Vile was. Once they got there they hid in the bushes.

"I heard he's planning to take over Gensokyo..." Bass said.

"...What does he need with it?" Guntz asked.

"IDK. He's evil. Why wouldn't he try?" Bass playfully elbowed Guntz in the arm.

"This is not a laughing matter Bass..."

"Look! Flandre!"

Klonoa pointed out the girl they've been trying to find. She was in an energy field as well as her powers being disabled.

"Now what... We can't take Vile on like this! He can defeat us with no questions asked!"

"Well too bad pussy cats..." That was the last thing Bass said before he sprung out of their hiding place.

"HEY VILE! I SHALL CHALLENGE YOU! ALL THREE OF US DO!"

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL BASS?!"

Guntz now wished he was saved by someone else.

Vile looked over to them. "You dare challenge me- OOOOOO! You guys! Long time no see..."

"Let the girl go and leave our sight." Guntz said rasing his gun without fear.

"HA! I will kill you before you can say 'what'." Vile threatended.

"Wha-"

Suddenly Vile lunged towards Guntz, almost as fast as the speed of light. Wow such power.

Guntz then expected pain but nothing happened. He opened his eyes to see that Mokou stood right in front of him, blocking him.

"M-Mokou!" He shouted as she fell to the ground.

"FOOL!" Vile emmited a scream which blew the heroins to the ground. "YOU HAVE BLOCKED MY ATTACK DAMNIT!"

Guntz, enraged by what just happened, held up his gun too Vile. "Speak your last words bitch."

"Well... THIS WASN'T MY IDEA! IT WAS... UHHH... HIS!" Vile pointed at a golden chubby reploid named Double.

"What?!"

"Well... I have to say, Double, for knocking out a little girl and capturing her for power AND plotting to destroy Gensokyo is quite the act. Even though I'll shoot you for it, nice job." Guntz shrugged.

Vile was then jealous and pushed Double off the cliff. "SHUT UP! THAT WAS MY BRILLIANT PLAN! NOT HIS! SHOOT ME INSTEAD!"

"...Glady..." Guntz said and shot Vile.

"Dang...it... So close yet so far!" Vile grunted as he retreated somewhere. The barrier holding Flandre wore off.

Klonoa focused on Mokou's body. "Guntz? Is she sleeping?"

Guntz looked at her. "That girl, had a lot of personaity. I'll miss her..."

"I miss you too sweetheart."

Guntz suddenly blushed. Then he saw Mokou stand up. Injured, but alive.

"Wahoo!" Klonoa yelled.

"WTF WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?! YOUR A TEASE!" Guntz screamed at the phoenix.

"Geez clam down dude and let me explain. I drank the hourai elixir which makes me immortal. I can't die nor get sick, but I can feel pain! And damn, that hurt..." Mokou tensed up when she touched her side that Vile shot through.

"Anyways, bye." The phoenix then flew off.

"What a joke..." Guntz shook his head.

Flandre stood up, her powers still weak and her mind still in a daze from that shock wave of power. It was quite hard for her to stand still.

"Flandre...?"

Flandre turned around to see her sister Remilia. Her clothes were a little burnt up and she had some minor injuries, but that didn't stop her from running up to her little sister, squeezing the life out of her.

"YOUR SAFE! YOUR SAFE!" Remilia cried out.

Flandre didn't know what she should do. Her elegant sister who seemed to never care about her existence was now hugging her like there was no tomorrow.

Flandre just hugged back.

"I'm sorry Onee-chan... I didn't mean to-"

"Let me stop you there..." Remilia held her fingers up to Flandres lips. "I'm the one who should be sorry, for locking you up. I shouldn't have done that. It's just not right... I only did it because everyone feared us and I was a bit too overprotective. Please, please, forgive me..." Tears were rolling down Remilia's face.

Flandre couldn't help but cry too. "I forgive you, onee-chan. And I'm sorry for saying we're not sisters."

"So your letting me out now?"

"Of course Flan. Of course."

They shared another embrace. They were indeed the Scarlet sisters again, and forever.

"Awwww... So I guess this story did have a happy ending... SO WHY ARE THEY NOT EATING EACH OTHER OUT?!" Bass shouted in disappointment.

"Thanks for ruining the moment Bass!" Guntz said sarcastically.

"Anytime losers." Bass snickered before walking away.

"I'm happy with the way things turned out!" Klonoa smiled.

"Wow... 3 incidents in two days. I'm tired out..."

Suddenly the four heard a screech.

"AW COME ON!" Guntz cried out as he fell to his knees.

/

"Your under arrest for using the hadouken without permission!"

X was being arrested, weird...

"Don't worry X! I'll bale you out!"

"NUUUUUUUUU!" X cried as he was cuffed and driven away in the police car.

"BALE?!"

Zero turned around to see Guntz and Klonoa. "Your an idiot. We're breaking him out."

"... That's against the law..."

"BITCH! FINE! Come on Klonoa we're getting X out of jail!'

"Yay!" Klonoa giggled. "Another exciting adventure!"

 **/**

 **Holy crap yay!**

 **So Flandre and Remilia are back as sisters. I wonder what happened to the mansion.**

 **Wow, this is the only time I written something that came out better then expected. Me and my friend did NOT do this roleplay so this was out of imagination. I'm horrible...**

 **Next one X is gonna be in Shikieiki's court! Oh no! And Guntz and Klonoa will have to save him, along with Mokou and Zero. Maybe a new villain will appear? Who knows? I don't! (I do actuallly).**

 **Welp hope you enjoyed this chapter! Be sure to review!**

 **(I DO NOT OWN KLONOA, MEGAMAN, OR TOUHOU NOR DO I MAKE MONEY WITH THEM. THIS FANFICTION IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.)**

 **so-nanoka~**


	4. Fly already!

"Wait. What the hell happened just now?" Guntz wondered. Klonoa looked up at the sky. "I think the author FINALLY decided to write chapter 4 after all these months." He said blankly.

The Author cringed at this remark. What actually happened is that the Author forgot about the fanfiction and simply went off to they're own life. Yet one day while the Author was reading some stories online, THEY CAME ACROSS THIS. "What a horrible fanfiction this is! I can't believe I wrote this!" The Author gasped.

But at that moment, something clicked inside them. The Author realized that no one has even read this fiction! "So that means it doesn't matter if I continue this or not!" The Author exclaimed. "But something just feels so unfinished in this, I can't just leave it alone!"

Quickly clicking on Open-office writer and setting it to 16 font size, they begun chapter 4...

/

"Guntz can we get there any faster?" Klonoa asked the depressed Guntz. Right now the two of them were trying the get X out of prison. They have no idea where they are going. "Guntz can you fly me there?"

"Klonoa if I could fly I would've done it already." Guntz grunted (lol).

No matter how much they walked the cabbit and the wolf weren't even close to they're destination. Then the unspeakable happened...

 _ **It started to rain**_

 __"GODDAMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!" Guntz cried. "I SWEAR ON MY DADS DEATHBED WE'LL NEVER F*CKING MAKE IT. I SWEAR KLONOA!"

Klonoa didn't know what to make of this reaction at all. "Guntz your kinda scaring me..."

/

"Just because those idiots ruined my plans doesn't mean I don't have backup! I came here to conquer Gensokyo not to get myself beat up!" Vile said.

Because in the last chapter he got screwed over by everyone, he's kinda going off at himself right now. I think it's better to leave him be...

"Purple jelly bean?" An unknown voice came from behind him. Vile groaned and turned around.

"What do you wan- YOU." Vile was shocked when he saw Megaman standing, right there. So surprised, that the shock made him fall over.

"What kind of evil are you planning here, huh?!" Megaman said as he held up his buster. Vile stood up and dusted off his torso and cleared his throat.

"Well, you see here little blue man- I was just about to eat some dinner." He lied. Megaman looked confused.

"Dude, robots don't eat."

"WELL I DO OK! NOW STOP BOTHERING ME!" Vile barked and kicked Megaman in the torso. The kick was so powerful that it sent Rock flying. "Well now damn it. He's gonna go tell everyone. I need to get some bodyguards..."

/

"Over 9000 bottles of water on the wall. Over 9000 bottles of water on the wall! Take one down and pass it around. Less than 9000 bottles of water on the wall-" Klonoa sung. Guntz was so annoyed by this so he put mud in his ears.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!" Guntz yelled.

"Hello travelers!"

Guntz and Klonoa turned around and saw a red echidna. It was Knuckles!

"Hey Knuckles! What are you doing here?" Klonoa greeted.

Knuckles scratched his chin. "I was looking for my master emerald. Eggman stole it. He went into this barrier and I followed. Suddenly I'm here..." Knuckles explained. "Welp! What's up with you two?"

"Me and Mr. Soon-to-be-pop-star here are gonna bail our friend out of jail. (Though it's kinda hard to call him a friend...)" Guntz groaned. "Soon I'll be able to rest a pretend all this crud never happened..."

"How about I tag along with you two? I mean, why not?" Knuckles suggested. Guntz sighed and nodded.

/

"What none of you guys know right now is what's happening to Gensokyo's barrier!"

After the incident involving Flandre flying out of the mansion and Vile's appearance, the major powers of Gensokyo met in one place to talk about it.

"I think your overreacting Yukari. I don't see anything wrong with the borders." Kanako said. The others agreed. Yukari grunted.

"Take my word for it everyone. If more people keep finding their way into Gensokyo the whole border will collapse!"

"Wasn't it YOUR idea to let them come here anyways? You did say you wanted more people populating this world." Miko accused. Everyone looked at Yukari.

"Damn it. Fine then. If you won't help I'll just go have Reimu help me. She'll listen!" Yukari whined and gaped out of the situation.

"...To be honest the border has effected the weather a little lately." Byakuren pointed out.

/

"I think I held the map upside down..."

A little girl no more than 10 years old has just stepped into Gensokyo. "This doesn't look like a city at all! And I don't see a mansion... Ohhh, now what?" She cried.

"Hey little girl!" Klonoa hopped out of a bush. "You look lost! But don't worry! Me Guntz and Knuckles shall hel-"

Guntz covered Klonoa's mouth and threw him to the side. "Don't talk to strangers. Anyways, who the hell are you?"

"I-Iris is my name. Um, is there a mansion around here somewhere?" Iris stuttered.

Suddenly the group heard a bang. "CRAP WHAT NOW?!" Guntz screamed. The sound came from underground it seemed, but no one knows that. But it's still an important factor in the story since the ground started shaking.

"EARTHQUAKE!" Knuckles screeched and hid under a tree. Guntz grabbed Klonoa and ran off, so Iris was left.

"Um, guys? What do I do? Uh, guys?!" Iris quivered. "I'm scared..."

/

"Well Klonoa I think we've finally found where they have X." Guntz said.

"How do you know?"

"Well I'm just hoping for the best right now. This looks like a pretty obvious place."

They were at the Sanzu river. The both of them stared forward and there was nothing but water and mist. "I'm guessing it's across this."

"We need a boat Guntz! I can't swim..." Klonoa sighed.

"I can take you!" A women with a scythe walked towards the two. "Komachi's the name! I have a boat that can take you anywhere! And by anywhere I mean across this river!"

Guntz rolled his eyes. "I don't trust people with big boobs. Let's find another way across Klonoa..."

"Wait! I-I'll lower the pay a little! Just give me 1 gold coin!" Komachi begged.

"Well then Mario could have a million rides across this river if he wanted!" Guntz snapped. Klonoa then had an idea.

"Oh miss Komachi! Our friend is in jail but he's innocent! Me and Guntz really need to cross this river to save him! Please, can you take us across this river? We will pay you later." Klonoa pleaded.

Komachi was hesitant. "Well, my boss does run a jail and she would be pissed if I gave someone a free ride, but I don't listen to her anyways sooo, hop on." she smiled.

"Yay Guntz we get to save X after all!" Klonoa beamed and hopped on the boat.

Guntz groaned. "It's better then swimming though." and jumped on the boat as well.

"Off we go to see Shiki-sama!" Komachi sung as the three disappeared in the mist.

 **/**

 **I finally got to write chapter 4 after all this time! This fanfiction is not dead! And yet I'm talking to no one since no one reads this! (laughs). Eh, whatever. Someday...**

 **(I DO NOT OWN SONIC, KLONOA, TOUHOU, OR MEGAMAN NOR DO I MAKE MONEY WITH THEM. THIS FANFICTION WAS MADE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY.)**

 **Wahoo!**


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